GET THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE, UNDERSTAND, AND MANAGE YOUR OWN EMOTIONS, PAINS AND AS WELL AS OTHERS
EMPATHY
Let's start with a question.
You went to a nice place to have dinner with your friends, and it was a great evening. Then one of your friends wants to take a group selfie to remember that night. They then share this photo on social media. The question is, who do you look at first in the photo?
Of course, you will look at yourself first. This is your ego. Don't worry, 99% of people do this when they look at group photos. It means you are human.
Let's continue with another question.
Imagine that you are a scientist who has been working hard for decades, and in the end, you achieve something great: you find the best corona vaccine. Millions of people will not suffer from the illness or stupid restrictions anymore. They name the vaccine after you, and you become worldwide famous, earning billions of euros. Do you really want to be this scientist? I am sure anyone would reply "yes" to this question.
But let's add a small detail to this question. Yes, the first part of the question is the same, but the detailed part is: "you found the vaccine, but soon after, you died in a traffic accident. The popularity and wealth will come after you die." Did you hesitate to reply "yes" when I added this detail? This is also your ego, because you are thinking of yourself, not mankind. You might say to yourself, "I don't care if I die," but you are not thinking about how many people will survive after you die.
The ego is inevitable, so we all have it. Our ego is our impulse to hold onto life, to survive. Thanks to our ego, we think about ourselves, eat, avoid danger, protect ourselves, shelter ourselves, fight, show our existence, show ourselves, be respected, and be loved. This is all very normal.
But the critical question is: How much ego should we have?
It should be compared to body temperature. When the ego becomes inflated, it's like having a fever, which we call "bulging ego syndrome." This is a disease characterized by a constant focus on oneself, putting oneself above all others, being arrogant, narcissistic, always justifying one's actions, trying to win at all costs, not recognizing the law or rights, getting angry when corrected, being closed to criticism, and even being aggressive. This not only makes people sick, but it also destroys humanity.
On the other hand, having too little ego is also unhealthy. It's like our body temperature dropping to dangerous levels, leading to death. When the ego is small, it's always a "you, you, you" situation. Ignoring oneself, undervaluing oneself, lacking self-confidence, lacking intrinsic motivation, feeling worthless and hopeless, being inert, pessimistic, cowardly, weak, and having no sense of identity. This is also extremely unhealthy.
So what should we do? We must have an ego, but we need to balance it. We need to keep our ego at the level of our body temperature. The easiest way to achieve this balance is through empathy. By empathizing with others, we can achieve true peace, true leadership, true justice, and real success. There is a Turkish saying that goes "Poison is born from quantity!" In the past, the Chinese used to kill their captives by forcing them to drink too much water, causing their spleens to burst and killing them painfully. Water gives life to people, but if the amount is too much, it can kill people. Similarly, while empathy is important, it is also necessary to balance it. Unlimited empathy can be detrimental to ourselves. I read a piece of news that I couldn't believe: a famous lawyer in America burned himself in the middle of a park to protest global warming and draw attention to the use of fossil fuels. Such extreme empathy is a bit too much for me. However, in general, whatever suffering humanity has endured, it has been due to the bulging ego. The bulging ego is the enemy of empathy. When we talk about the bulging ego, Hitler comes to mind first, doesn't he? Here is a very obvious example: the Second World War could have ended much, much earlier if Germany had surrendered earlier. The German armies were constantly retreating and civilians were dying, but when a Nazi commander suggested surrender to Hitler, he replied: "If they voted for us, they supported us, they chose us, then, of course, they will die." Hitler's level of empathy was zero.
WHAT IS EMPATHY?
Everyone has their own facts. Your facts are the values that make you who you are - being a man or a woman, being married or single, being Turkish or British, being a doctor or an athlete. These are your realities, and you don't need to change them. But we look at the world through a window made up of our own characteristics. And when we look out of that window, we see our own facts. Empathy is seeing other facts, even very different facts, when we look through that window. The literal meaning of empathy is "putting yourself in someone else's shoes". It is easy to say but difficult to apply. Because this is the second step - the hard one. The first step is knowing yourself and being able to question yourself. When we really do both, we can put ourselves in someone else's shoes. By learning to look at ourselves from the outside like someone else, we start to develop empathy.
Are we at the center of the world? Do we know everything? Are we good while they are bad? The age of the world is about 5 billion years old. Who knows what happened in the world during these 5 billion years? How many civilizations, how many kings, how many empires, how many wars, how many massacres, how many deaths, how many successes? Let's look at the world from the perspective of the universe. In reality, we are not even a speck of dust. Of course, we are alive, but when our ego is swollen, we need to look at ourselves from the perspective of the universe.
Unfortunately, in many countries today, men are considered superior to women. In fact, in large companies in most European countries, CEOs are usually men. However, we need to face the reality that men and women are not different in terms of intelligence. One sex cannot be superior to the other. We say that men and women are equal. In fact, we can even say that women are superior because they are fertile. If we compare ourselves with animals, we humans are not superior as a species. Imagine, a cheetah can run faster than you, a turtle lives longer than you, a dog smells better than you, a bat sees better than you, and birds find a better way than you. Sometimes, you can't even find your way with Google Maps. You see, we are not even superior to animals.
When you look at the world map, which country do you look for first? Not your own country? Everyone is proud of their country, flag, and nation. But there are also 194 other countries in the world recognized by the United Nations apart from ours. When people in those countries look at the world from their own perspective, they are proud of their flags, states, and nations. There are more than 100 races, more than 100,000 beliefs, more than 5000 cultures, and more than 7000 languages in the world today. The question we should ask ourselves is:
a - Do you see them as a threat, risk, enemy, primitive, second-rate, and danger?
b - Do you see all these differences as the flow of life, natural, authentic, diversity, synergy, and wealth?
If differences are a threat to you, you try to eradicate them. If differences are a richness to you, you will make an effort to keep them alive. A few hundred years ago, a group of white-skinned people enslaved another group of people with black skin of African descent. They considered it normal. They even saw it as right in themselves. But history has shown that being white doesn't make you any higher than being black. When everyone has equal conditions, people with black skin can become the President of America.
SELF MOTIVATION
The development of emotional intelligence is crucial for individuals to recognize and manage their own emotions and those of others. Epigenetic neural principles in developmental psychology suggest that our environment and experiences can influence our genetic expression and brain development. By actively working on improving emotional intelligence, individuals can positively impact these epigenetic factors and promote healthy neural development, leading to better mental health, improved relationships, and overall well-being. Activities such as practicing mindfulness, seeking feedback, and taking responsibility for one's emotions can promote self-motivation to upgrade emotional intelligence.
SELF REGULATION
Self-regulation is a key aspect of emotional intelligence and closely related to epigenetic neural principles in developmental psychology. It involves managing emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in different situations. Our brain's ability to change based on experiences means that individuals can rewire their neural pathways through intentional and repeated practice of self-regulation. With regular practice of self-awareness, mindfulness meditation, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and other techniques, individuals can develop self-regulation skills that lead to effective emotional regulation and better overall emotional intelligence.
SELF SOCIAL SKILLS
Social skills are an essential component of emotional intelligence that can be improved through epigenetic neural principles in developmental psychology. The brain's structure and function can be altered by experiences and environment, meaning individuals can develop their social skills through exposure to a variety of social situations. Joining clubs or organizations, attending social events, and engaging in conversations with diverse individuals can enhance self-social skills. Developing self-awareness and empathy also contributes to improving social skills by helping individuals understand others' perspectives and communicate effectively. By consistently practicing and exposing themselves to diverse social situations, individuals can enhance their self-social skills and improve their emotional intelligence.
SELF AWARENESS
Learn to Listen to Your Body: The Hidden Messages Behind Brain Frequencies that create Physical Pain and Emotional Problems When you torture your soul, your body's danger alarm starts to ring with the hormones your feelings activate. These are the first alarms of the journey to death. Now read carefully and analyze yourself thoroughly! Pain is no laughing matter !
If you have back pain, it means your guilt level is rising. Find the source of your guilt and let go of it immediately! Don't judge yourself or others; make peace with yourself first, then forgive the person(s) who stabbed you in the back. Focus on the positive qualities of everyone who has disappointed you and accept them as they are, even if they are bad, and LOVE them!
If you are experiencing sexual impotence, it may be because you were not loved with touch by your parents, and instead, you were given candy and chocolate. Stop consuming sugary, fizzy, and/or alcoholic drinks and replace them with ONLY STILL pure water. Learn to love through touch and develop a sense of touch. Learn to love unconditionally and without expecting anything in return. Without learning to love, you cannot heal. Finally, surround yourself with people who love you for who you are.
If you have severe menstrual pain, you must learn to accept your femininity and its advantages with love. Stop judging yourself and don't allow anyone to judge you for being a woman. Immediately distance yourself from toxic friends and family members who judge you and communicate with them only minimally or not at all, only when necessary.
If you have discharge problems in your genital organs and urinary incontinence, unfortunately your pelvic muscles have become loose from stress and anger, and you need to eat plenty of dates now. Why? Because dates contain oxytocin, which has been shown to induce erections. In various animal species, including human males, an oxytocin burst is released during ejaculation, with the suggested function of stimulating contractions of the reproductive system and helping to release sperm. A study measuring oxytocin serum levels in women before and after sexual stimulation also suggests that this hormone plays an important role in sexual arousal. It was found that genital system stimulation causes an increase in oxytocin immediately after orgasm. Another study reported that oxytocin increases during sexual arousal could be in response to nipple/areola, sexual, and/or genital system stimulation, as confirmed in other mammals. (source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin)
If your heart is troubled, it's because you have routine memories full of hate, resentment, and disappointment in your life. Remove them from your heart. Only love unconditionally; otherwise, your soul won't want to live, and your heart will do everything possible to stop. Remember, you'll have a heart attack every time; it'll be your routine!
If you have intestinal problems, you need to review everything in your life that you don't need (people, things, activities, routines) and remove them from your life.
If you have neck pain, stop looking at things from a negative perspective and focus on the positive. Don't say the glass is half empty, say it's half full. Speak only positive words. Remember, every negative event will eventually have a positive outcome. The more easily you focus on the positive, the faster you can turn everything negative into positive.
If you grind your teeth in your sleep, it's time to release the accumulated anger. Learn to forgive yourself first and then forgive everyone and everything that made you angry.
If your eyes have a problem, or if they burn, it means you don't want to see the truths you need to see. Stop running from the facts; they will follow you until you see them. Learn to accept and surrender to them with love. Your soul will follow the destiny it made in the soul agreement, not your dreams. Never forget this!
If your shoulders hurt, it's time to analyze the unnecessary burdens that have been placed on you in life. Stop carrying other people's responsibilities immediately and urgently get rid of any work you deem unnecessary.
If your throat hurts, swells, or if you have a goiter, it's time to express yourself with love. Stop judging people and being arrogant. Remember, you're not God, even if you think negatively, say it in the most beautiful words and without hurting the other person, and start expressing your love without hesitation.
If your feet and legs hurt, it's time to get rid of your fears. If the pain is on the right side, you need to overcome your fear of the future and left the judgement of past. Yes, you are experiencing pain in your feet or legs, it may be time to let go of your fears. If the pain is on your right side, you need to urgently overcome your fear of the future, surrender to the main stream of life for your own future, and avoid anything that holds you back. If the pain is on your left side, you need to cut ties with the past and live in the present moment.
If you are experiencing stomach pain, you need to stop worrying about everything. Your negative experiences can be a blessing in disguise, so be patient and serve others with love and compassion. Stay away from things that upset you because nature and the natural world need you.
If you are experiencing back belly part pain, you need to change your attitude towards money. Having just enough money is sufficient for your needs; excess money will weigh you down. Money cannot buy happiness, and you need to focus on what makes you happy, not how much money you have. Avoid unnecessary expenses and try to spend your money on people who really need it. Accumulating wealth will weigh you down like a heavy burden, leading you towards paralysis.
If you are experiencing headaches, it is time to let go of your feelings of worthlessness. Remember that your soul is the most valuable thing in your life, and it needs to be nurtured. Focus on the needs of your soul, not just your body.
If you have problems with your hearing or earaches, you need to listen to your heart and make decisions based on your emotions, not your thoughts or judgments. Learn to listen to your heart's messages; otherwise, no medicine or surgery will help.
If you have allergies, you need to stop rejecting your own strength. Identify who or what makes you feel powerless and let go of them. Trust your own feelings and don't believe in anyone else's ideas.
If you have toothaches or gum problems, it's time to stop accumulating indecision and anger. Otherwise, your teeth will fall out, and your tongue will be uncontrollable.
I am suggesting that if you are experiencing physical pain in a certain part of your body, it may be a sign that you need to address certain emotional or psychological issues in your life and now time to upgrade your emotional intelligence to manage your body and your life. Do not forget to get professional INTELLIGENCE help!
April 2020
Dr.Keskin
"On the day knowledge conquers fear, the world will become more beautiful"
Source: Avicenna
